String Theory Done My Way September 18, 2009

K, so I’m obsessed with God being above, around and outside of time.  I love it when people shake their heads as though God could not possibly anticipate our next move, much less the rest of our earthly lives.  I always play this little game in my head (read on carefully, you’re about to peek into Michelle Strange-o Land) where I imagine how it would feel to be able to foretell my life, and all of the people who will cross into it or already have.  Case in point:

I just found out that (follow closely) one of my closest friend’s little brother married a girl who’s mom and brother I remember fondly from my childhood church family in El Paso.  Here’s the kicker – I didn’t meet said close friend until I moved to Wyoming in Jr High.  Our family had long lost touch with the recent bride’s family.  Via facebook, the dots were connected and I was able to peg her mom as Lynda Figueroa, the mom who lived across the street from the church in El Paso TX, whose toddler son we adored.  Here, now, is what goes through my mind as I think about how past connects to future, and how God knows it all along.

“26 years from now, this woman will have a child who will marry my friend’s brother whom I haven’t even met yet”

“7 years from now, I will have this man’s child” (referring to Jeremy and I knowing each other in high school)

“16 years from now, I will be blessed to call this overly-hyper-woman-who-my-little-sister-loves-but-drives-me-up-a-wall Friend” (Branda)

“16 years from now, I will have loved and cherished this girl as my best friend, who I’m standing in the registrar line with on the first day of college, from this point on” (Shell)

“4 years from now, this childhood friend that I just reconnected with will show up on my doorstep while at college, looking for a place to live” (Barbie)

“8 days from now will be the last time I see Dad” (morning before I heard about Dad’s heartattack)

“6 years from now, my friend’s mom will be one of the most important people in my life.” (Lisa, Rhonda)

“17 years from now, Lisa’s mom will die suddenly; my heart will be left with a raw, gaping hole”  (Rhonda)

“10 years from now, this nerdy football player and his wife and kids will be so special and precious to us as a family” (Eric & Gini) *i hate both words – special & precious – but dangit, sometimes they just fit*

“10 years from now, this man will speak with my dad about Christ as he lay on his deathbed”  (Roger Gribble)

“8 years from now, this man will almost kill us while driving through Chihuahua, Mexico.  If he doesn’t, it will be the raucous voice of Rush Limbaugh coming through the crappy AM car stereo”  (Bill Baker)

“3 years from now, my dear friend will leave me and never really return”  (Tamara Seal)

“20 years from now, I won’t know how to live without this stuck-up, obnoxious, blonde, power-hungry brat.”  (Tammy)

Oh yes, and her little brother will marry a girl who’s mom lived across the street from my childhood church…

So…Now What? August 26, 2009

Today is The Day.  The Day I’ve been dreading all summer long.  The Day my purpose in life is questioned.  The Day the clouds come in and depression lugs an oversize suitcase.  The Day I’m faced with nothing but time and stark loneliness.  The Day I knew was inevitable but never really believed would arrive.  The Day the clock and the calendar suddenly seem so fleeting and blurred.  The Day the curtain draws on everything I have been, everything I am and everything I thought I was meant to be.  The Day my head spins inside of itself attempting to watch my life in reverse while it is indeed speeding forward.  Today is The Day.  The Day my baby left for Kindergarten.

From Beth, an Old College Friend August 26, 2009

In order to continue getting by in America (our home land), we all need to learn the NEW English language! Practice by reading the following conversation until you are able to understand the term “TENJOOBERRYMUDS”. With a little patience, you’ll be able to fit right in. Now, here goes…

The following is a telephone exchange between maybe You as a hotel guest and Room Service somewhere in the good old US of A today:

ROOM SERVICE : “Morrin. Roon sirbees.”
GUEST : “Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.”
RS: ” Rye. Roon sirbees…morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???”
G: “Uh….. Yes, I’d like to order bacon and eggs.”
RS: “Ow July den?”
G: “…..What??”
RS: “Ow July den?!?… Pryed, boyud, poochd?”
G: “Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. Scrambled, please.”
RS: “Ow July dee baykem? Crease?”
G: “Crisp will be fine.”
RS: “Hokay. An Sahn toes?”
G: “What?”
RS: “An toes. July Sahn toes?”
G: “I… Don’t think so.”
RS: “No? Judo wan sahn toes???”
G: “I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ‘judo wan sahn toes’ means.”
RS: “Toes! Toes!…Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?”
G: “Oh, English muffin!!! I’ve got it! You were saying ‘toast’…Fine….Yes, an English muffin
will be fine.”
RS: “We bodder?”
G: “No, just put the bodder on the side.”
RS: “Wad?!?”
G: “I mean butter.. Just put the butter on the side.”
RS: “Copy?”
G: “Excuse me?”
RS: “Copy…tea..meel?”
G: “Yes. Coffee, please… And that’s everything.”
RS: “One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh
and copy….Rye??”
G: “Whatever you say.”
RS: “Tenjooberrymuds.”
G: “You’re welcome”

Remember I said “You will understand ‘TENJOOBERRYMUDS’ “…and you do, don’t you!?

Old Blog=New Blog August 3, 2009

I’m never on MySpace anymore, so I transferred all of my old blogs here.   Read and enjoy!

Caedmonisms August 3, 2009

Sweet Potatoes=Cheese Tomatoes

Peanuts=Onions

Remote=Merote

Cantaloupe=Antelope

Looks Like=Look Likes

Seeds=Onions

Restaurant=WrenchNot

Breasts/Boobs=Tummy Knees

Comment more if you think of any!

1/21/08 August 3, 2009

Monday, January 21, 2008

Invalid Entry: Evidently, I cannot leave the subject line blank.
Current mood: apathetic
Category: Pets and Animals
K, so you know how sometimes you feel like you want to just break down and cry, but you don’t know what on earth for? When you feel like you’re upset with someone, or feel hurt by them, but really don’t have a valid reason for feeling that way? Or when you feel completely exhausted by the world and the fact that it seems to be perched on your shoulders, alone? Here I am…when you know how many things should be done, but you just can’t seem to get yourself that far in your day? When you evaluate what money needs to be spent on, but then revert to what it has to be spent on? Taxes, doctor appointments, taking your 4 year old to the dentist for the first time, fixing and declawing the new housecat that you convinced your husband to let in from outdoors? All of this needs done, but bills have to be paid, as usual. Getting out of debt sometimes feels like it will take forever when it continues to pile at your feet, huh? There’s always something. Here I am…Or when you feel so fat, so ugly, so out of touch, so unlovable? So uncaring, so complacent, so sad, so alone – even when you have been given more than any human being in their right mind could possibly expect or ask for? Here I am…Perhaps, my meds need adjusting…Maybe, the weather is playing tricks on my mind (it’s 6 degrees below zero-that seems tricky to me)…Could it be, that I’m beginning to spin? My head hasn’t felt straight in a few days…Ya know?

12/29/07 August 3, 2009

Saturday, December 29, 2007

This video rocks!
Current mood: electric
Category: News and Politics
Okay, so Tammy Trent has part of this video on her site…I’m so not original. It’s long, but it is AWESOME! Watch it!

Currently watching:
Power Rangers: Operation Overdrive, Vol. 1
Release date: 18 September, 2007

12/27/07 August 3, 2009

Thursday, December 27, 2007

The Ties that Bind
Current mood: tired
Category: Life
The Christmas season is always tough. I love getting ready for Christmas, beginning the day after Thanksgiving. The shopping, the keen awareness of Christ, the decorating, the baking, the Christmas cards, the music, all of it. I’m always stressed because I’m never where I want to be on my to do list, but I love it regardless.

Then it’s over. Christmas tree still up and lit, but empty underneath. Tree skirt disheveled, ornaments slowly finding their way to the floor. Garland falling off because I don’t care to fix it anymore since its job was finished the night of the 25th. No more cards flooding the mailbox, nativity set nudged here, moved there, no more candles burning, the smell of apple cider, cloves and cinammon long gone.

I feel like those forgotten and discarded decorations. I feel so out of place, as though I no longer belong in my life. Or anywhere. I’m not sure why, but I miss Dad more than I have in a very long time. I had to stop thinking about him years ago, about missing him, because my heart would hurt so deeply I could feel it in my gut. I would spend hours crying for what could have been and for what was and what was not. I feel so lonely, I feel displaced. I feel as though I have no foundation for who I am anymore. My parents just moved a few hours away; two years ago I would have bid them good riddance. Now, I just feel odd; sad, but in a different way than ever before.

Grandma Bunny is gone, and Grandpa has just remarried (after a very LONG dramatic few months), and has moved north with Mom and Vernon. Grandma Tweed died this year, nearly 3 years after Grandpa Tweed passed away. I feel as though I no longer have a heritage, that I am just here, alone. Dad has been gone now for nearly 15 years, which is all of my adult life. It breaks my heart that my kids never knew him.

Caedmon was asking me the other day if we were going to see her Grandma or my Grandma. I don’t have any grandmas anymore. That hurts. Deeply, for some reason. I’ve never been big on family, but now that most of them are dead and the rest are moved away, I feel the void. Family wasn’t something I could depend on just because they had the title. Friends have always been much more reliable; although we all know that can never be 100% either…

Currently listening:
Hearts of the Innocent
By Kutless
Release date: 21 March, 2006

11/9/07 August 3, 2009

Friday, November 09, 2007

Depravity or Delight?
Current mood: grateful
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
I, unfortunately and regretably, am an expert on this subject. I have had so much experience in this field, I may as well have invented the entire concept. Some believe that it all started with a shifty snake in a garden, antagonized by a foolish female, who was then followed by an ill-advised male. They are mistaken. I did, in fact, design what we are talking about – sin.

Obviously, the above is not true, but my goodness, sometimes it feels as though I could have been the cause and beginning of the most shameful act that forced the rest of humanity into consequence.

I was talking to someone a while back concerning a friend of their’s current living situation. Her friend is shacking up with her boyfriend of several years. I asked this person what her friend tells herself to make this decision okay, to which she replied, after hesitating, shrugging her shoulders, “It’s sin. We all sin. I sin everyday.”

I was somewhat taken aback at this rebuttle, given the person I was having the conversation with. She is well aware of the affect and outcome of living in sin. I don’t believe she actually believed herself what she was telling me; that sin is sin, and we are all guilty. While that statement is true, the intent behind it is not. The premise of that shallow excuse to continue on as our human nature instructs was to defend someone she loves very much; someone she looks up to, and doesn’t want to chastise, even as a friend, and more importantly, a fellow Christ-follower. I seem to recall Jesus instructing the woman at the well, who was also guilty of shacking up, to “go, and sin no more.” He did not say, “go, and take heart in the fact that your friends and family are sinning just as you are.”

When have we become so flippant in our attitude toward sin? Have we used the word so often, had it shoved down our throats by preachers and parents, spouses and siblings, that we no longer understand the result of its power – Satan’s power over us? We go about our personal lives, not even wanting to recognize the depravity of the sin nature, much less address it in ourselves, then in those close to us. But, we have to! If we do not hold each other accountable for the sake of loving that person, and because we are concerned with that person’s relationship with their Savior, we are powerless to ask and receive God’s amazing grace. Without a repentant heart, our prayers are in vain. When a friend hurts you, apologizes, asks for your forgiveness, then turns around in the same breath and hurts you again, it is next to impossible for you to feel forgiving toward them. Granted, God is God and His Son already took all of our sin upon Himself, therefore our unrighteousness is completely hidden from God. But if we continue on in our sin nature, in our iniquity, in our irresponsible decisions, what is the point of Christ’s death on that cross?

Just recently, our pastor gave a sermon dealing with this issue, and I didn’t realize at the time how imperative it really was. His main point was “Until we measure our sin by Who we sin against, we will never have motivation to change.” (That’s paraphrasing) Do we have motivation to change? Do we care that when we live with and sleep with someone out of the context of marriage, that we are making that choice to turn our back to Christ dying in our place? When we choose not to care for our bodies and minds, we are taking the only mortal life we have been given by God and intentionally trashing it? When we lie to cover our own mistakes and irresponsibility, we are flagrantly telling those around us that we can put God in a box – using Him when it’s convenient for us?

Again, I am extremely deft in this thing we call sin. It is so ugly, so demanding, so entwining, so inviting. We can’t avoid it, as my friend pointed out. However, I do believe we can choose to either engage it or fight it with every fiber of Christ’s being in us. I was engaged for so long, I seriously thought I was cheating on my husband (pun intended )! But fighting? Fighting is good for the soul and pleasing to God – and OH MY GOSH, do I encounter grace and mercy when kneeling before the Throne. Do you delight in your depravity, taking advantage of the fact that He has already conquered ALL sin? Or do you delight in said mercy and grace, drowning in it while praising Him for such undeserved love?
Currently watching:
Frasier – The Complete Seventh Season
Release date: 15 November, 2005

11/9/07 August 3, 2009

Friday, November 09, 2007

That’s my boy!
Current mood: content
Okay, so some of you might recall the frustrations and struggles Jonathan (and we) have gone through for the past 3 school years. A quick recap for those who don’t: He’s advanced, bright, and a nerd at heart. Problem is (just like you hear), if he isn’t challenged academically, he and his class performance will suffer. Needless to say, he wasn’t challenged AT ALL. First grade completely sucked the life out of the little boy who knew how to read and write before kindergarten. He no longer cared, and to make it worse, even got to the point of not liking school. I firmly believe this set a horrible foundation for him (the teachers didn’t agree), and second and third grade only went downhill. In second grade, I was actually advised that Jeremy and I might be hindering more than helping when we work with him at home with advanced subject matters. Third grade, he had a behavior problem, was bullied, and no longer participated in class. After a pretty major ordeal (he found a banana in his desk with a razor blade implanted in it), we called it quits, and sent him to another school in the same district. Okay, got the gist?

Here we are, fourth grade, and he is doing marvelous. His very first day of school, he came home so excited because he loved his teacher, he loved the school, he loved his bus, and he made five friends! It only got better from here, and we got our little boy back. He strives to make those A’s, loves interacting in class, hangs out with well behaved kids, actually enjoys his High Ability class, has excellent behavior at school AND at home and has become a very responsible and fun loving 9 year old boy.

Icing on the cake? His Parent/Teacher conference went soooooooo well! First off, when we walked in, Mr. Bath says, “Let me tell you this is the one PT conference I’ve been looking forward to. Your son is great.” The teacher loves him, said he’s a wonderful addition to his classroom, commented on how bright and intelligent and above benchmark he is, and told us he will continue to challenge him in the classroom. He said Jonathan loves participating in learning and discussion with he and other students, sent him home with an EXCELLENT report card, and told us Jonathan had a perfect conference! YAY!!!

Jonathan, you rock! Not just because you’re our genius , but mostly because you stayed true to yourself and the gifts that God gave you. You had a great attitude starting out the new year, and look where it has gotten you! Good job, kiddo!!!! WE ARE SO DANG PROUD!
Currently reading:
The Golden Compass (His Dark Materials, Book 1)
By Philip Pullman
Release date: 22 May, 2001